Things I’ve Learned From Being Single #2

I hope you didn’t expect me to stop at just one.

#2 – girlfriends are everything.

When shit-hit-the-fan, I didn’t feel like I had any support network here in London.  All my best girl friends were back home – literally on the other side of the planet.

The closest friends I had here were mutual friends.  I never felt like they were *my* friends.  I couldn’t ‘spill all’ to them and expect them to keep that to themselves, that wouldn’t be fair (though, to their credit, I’m sure they would’ve said all the right things).

In my first few weeks of being single, I invested all of my free time into calls with the girls back home, and in building those strong female relationships here in London.  Without a doubt, this has been the best use of my time here in London.  I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.

There is nothing more empowering than women supporting women.

It’s not something I’d ever really seen or experienced before, but I’m a believer now.  And it’s spilled out into every aspect of my life.  Beyond personal relationships, and into my work ones.  My dealings with strangers.  How I approach supporting anyone, no matter what ‘junk’ they’ve got in their trousers*.

* Bonus thing-I’ve-learned; at home I would say pants.  Pants on the outside.  Underpants on the inside (funnily enough, under the pants).  In the UK, if you mean pants you have to say trousers.  Pants here mean underpants.  Knickers.  And people aren’t great about considering comments about pants in context.  This makes for awkward elevator chat – especially when asking ones boss if it would be appropriate to wear ones new bright red pants in the office.

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Things I’ve Learned From Being Single #1

Last year, I became single again for the first time since I was at university.  While it was a long time coming and one of the best things that has happened in recent years (and there have been heaps of great things!), it was a learning curve.  I learned a lot.  Fast.

And I’ve kept a list.  A list of the things I’ve learned from being single and dating for the first time as a real, head-on-my-shoulders adult.  I figured I could write a book!  But no, this is better.  No one wants a coffee table book when they can read this from their phone.

Holy shit, guys – dating is different now

So I present to you – in pieces – my ever-growing list.

#1 – be prepared to get unsolicited pictures of strangers’ genitals.

You know; the ol’ dick pic.  No, I won’t share an example.

It seems a little on the nose.  An obvious choice for a first lesson.  It’s not the first I’d written down, but it feels like a bit of a quick win, no?

We’ve all heard stories, but I genuinely didn’t believe that it was a thing.  At least, not from 40 year old men who really have no business sharing that stuff.  Really, it’s nothing to brag about – you should be saving that to show a girl in person, where she has to be polite and can’t laugh.

Honestly, I’m still not sure how to deal with this one.

It happens enough that it doesn’t shock me any more.  Usually, I just unmatch the unsavoury individual on the dating app (because, let’s be honest, it’s always on a dating app).  Though, the last one I received got this shot back, without comment or context:

Have you experienced this, too?  How do you deal with?